fightingofthespirit: (#@%!!)
Klarth F. Lester ([personal profile] fightingofthespirit) wrote2009-02-08 06:54 pm
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Mahou Sensei Kuraasu!

Odin's beard!  Hundreds of books or so here, and you'd think at least one of them would say something about this ridiculous island.  I spent hours flipping through the most asinine reading material -- But nope!  Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  So all I've got, in the end, is the name.  Pfah.  Memento Eden.  'Memento', meaning remembrance, and 'Eden' in reference to original paradise.  Does that sound about right?  So, what -- it takes our memories and keeps us bound here to this 'Eden' with endless ocean in place of flaming seraphim and sword?  The name doesn't even make any bloody sense.  Sounds like a retirement home where the aged go off and die.

I suppose I managed to accomplish my secondary objective.  To the young lady who inquired as to whether or not I was a mage, the answer is a resounding no.  Which correlates precisely with the observation that every single one of my tomes is, in fact, a book of magic, because clearly, nothing in this place can ever make sense or else it would spontaneously implode.  The only positive that's come out of this so far are the half-dozen magic theory texts currently sitting in my bedroom waiting to be read.

In the meantime, I've signed myself up for a job.  What sort of appalling education system allows any random stranger off the street to be qualified to mold the minds of the children?  Worked out in my favor, though.  I should probably find out what Home Economics is before class starts tomorrow; hold on.

. . . Ah.  Here we are.  'A field of formal study including such topics as consumer education, institutional management, interior design, home furnishing, cleaning, handicrafts, sewing, clothing and textiles, cooking, nutrition, food preservation, hygiene, child development, and family relationships.'  . . . What?  . . . Nutrition?  We don't get a choice here!  Interior design, cleaning; child de -- I refuse to teach sex ed. 

This is ludicrous.  I never had to learn any of this in school.

. . .

Listen up, class!  We meet in the front of the library tomorrow; it's warm enough.  Bring a table saw if you have one.  We'll be working on the 'handicrafts' section of this subject from now until . . . I resign, I suppose.  Or I die.  Don't worry, kids; I'm expecting high blood pressure to kick in any time now.

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
Why would any of us have a table saw?!!

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
If that boy had a gun, a sword, and a lead pipe under his bed, one of you must have a table saw in the closet. Go on and check.

((So I actually just meant a normal saw [I'd always thought those were called table saws] but I was wrong. Oh, well. This is more ridiculous.))

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Well I know I don't have one!! If you're our new home ec teacher, shouldn't we be baking or something? Do none of you know how this class works?

[identity profile] a-scented-blade.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
What will we be building, sir?

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
Hire a maid when you grow up. All done.

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
Err.

Hmm.

T-that is a . . . surprise. Kids like surprises, right?

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
But the best part about home ec is eating the food...

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
. . . Fine. I'll ask one of the maids around here to sub in when I don't feel like teaching.

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
That's not how teaching works!! Or at least it shouldn't be like that.

[identity profile] a-scented-blade.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, will you be telling us at the start of class, then?

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
. . . You want me to learn how to bake?

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
Shouldn't you know how if you are a home ec teacher? Not that our last teacher did... but still!

Why do we need a saw at the library, anyway?

1/2

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
Ahh. There were no qualifications necessary. Blame your school system.

2/2

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
But in other news! That is a surprise! Because kids love surprises!

. . . For future reference, may I have your name, young man?

Re: 2/2

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
I rarely like surprises... It's Tsunayoshi Sawada, professor What happened to our old home ec teacher?

Re: 2/2

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
You may call me Professor Klarth. At least until I remember my last name . . .

And I have no idea. Who was he?

Re: 2/2

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
Shinigami. He's a big guy with a goofy looking mask, huge hands, and no feet. He may also be a god of death but I try not to think about that.

Re: 2/2

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
D-Death was teaching you . . . Home . . . Economics?

Re: 2/2

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
Technically. Though it was seemed more like a combination of shop and art class to me.

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
. . . Oh! That's right. Art class -- I'd heard your former professor swapped into art class.

. . .

Death . . . is teaching art class? . . .

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. I'm sort of glad he's not gone.

You get used to it after a while. He's not as scary as he sounds.

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
I-I see.

. . . At any rate. If you wish to learn anything aside from handicrafts, you may gather signatures for a petition, and I'll see what I can do. Learn it the night before, no doubt.

With the exception of child development. Really. I trust you are all already aware of the Magical Wonder that is the Process of Becoming a Man.

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
Magical whut? Oh. OH! I don't think that is usually what they mean. It's more about being a good mom or dad. The whole course is really more on how to be a good homemaker, I think.

[identity profile] shoukanjutsu.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
. . . child development, child development . . . ah. here. 'child development refers to the biological and psychological changes that occur in human beings between birth and the end of adoles . . . '

. . . I'm not teaching it.

Anyway. You planning to have children already? Rather young, aren't you?

. . . Kids these days.

[identity profile] no-good-tsuna.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
Of course not!!! I wouldn't normally even take this class!

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